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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

9 minutes ago

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Reported on Slack:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Just landed via Discord:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Just shared via X:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Live now on Snapchat:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Reported on Instagram:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Reported on Reddit:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Making waves on Telegram:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Jan 23, 2025

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🕷️🥋 "Embarking on the journey to become a karate master is a sticky situation indeed! Just when you think it's all about kicks and chops, a sneaky spider web comes along to test your reflexes. Remember, the path to greatness may involve a few unexpected detours – and a lot of spider dance moves! 🕸️💥 #KarateStruggles"

accident, accidentally, arts, humor, journey, karate, martial, martial arts, master, spider, training, walk, web

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

9 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Spotted on Discord:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Spotted on Discord:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Breaking via Messenger:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Live now on Snapchat:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Just shared via TikTok:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Making waves on Slack:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Spotted on Messenger:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

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