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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2271 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,433

Funny Quotes Topics

15,136

Funny Quotes Images

12,433

41 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Going viral on X:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Trending via Instagram:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Making waves on Slack:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

6 months ago

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the struggle of aging in the digital age! 😅 Navigating online forms becomes a full-on endurance race, complete with a mandatory pit stop for a power nap. 💤 Who knew that entering your birth year could feel like running a marathon? 🏃‍♂️ Don't worry, you're not alone in this hilarious hurdle of maturity!"

aging, birth, birth date, date, forms, getting, getting older, halfway, having, humor, i, nap, noticed, observation, older, online, online forms, scrolling, short, stop, technology, thing, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2271 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,433

Funny Quotes Topics

15,136

Funny Quotes Images

12,433

41 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Shared recently on Slack:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Trending via Snapchat:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Spotted on Messenger:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Going viral on Messenger:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Going viral on Threads:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Live now on YouTube:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

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