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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Trending via WeChat:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Going viral on Discord:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Breaking via Instagram:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Seen just now on Threads:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Making waves on WeChat:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Breaking via Discord:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about making driving safer with turn indicators for pedestrians, playful and humorous.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where a car's turn signal actually works, and pedestrians don't have to play a dangerous game of 'Guess which way this giant metal box is going next?' 🚗💡 Talk about a pedestrian-friendly upgrade! Now if only we could get the drivers to use that magical blinky light consistently… 😅"

being, cars, direction, driving, experience, feature, going, humor, level-up, pedestrian, road, road safety, safety, signal, thing, turn, turn signal

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Slack this month:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

41 shares on X this month:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

80 shares on Slack this month:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Breaking via TikTok:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Going viral on WeChat:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Spotted on Telegram:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Shared recently on Discord:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Going viral on Messenger:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

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