Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Dec 19, 2025

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Making waves on Reddit:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Just shared via Instagram:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Going viral on Threads:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Spotted on WeChat:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Shared recently on X:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

2 months ago

0

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where a car's turn signal actually works, and pedestrians don't have to play a dangerous game of 'Guess which way this giant metal box is going next?' 🚗💡 Talk about a pedestrian-friendly upgrade! Now if only we could get the drivers to use that magical blinky light consistently… 😅"

being, cars, direction, driving, experience, feature, going, humor, level-up, pedestrian, road, road safety, safety, signal, thing, turn, turn signal

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

0

2 months ago

favorite, humor, music, pirate, pun, song, tiger
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

0

1 month ago

broke, funny situation, house, humor, joke, just, laugh, money, robber, search, situation
Mornings would be fine if they started later.

0

1 month ago

fine, humor, later, morning, mornings, sleep, time, wake, wake up
Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

0

2 months ago

call, cold, hot, i, just, me, mood, mood swing, mother, Mother Nature, nature, period, swing, temperature, too, weather
Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

0

2 months ago

cake, food, food name, humor, name, Paris, place, place name, responsible, rice, rice cake, Texas, wordplay
I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

0

2 months ago

collector, debt, hate, humor, i, let, past, people, sarcasm, worst

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

84 shares on X this month:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,738

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Making waves on Slack:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Making waves on Facebook:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Shared recently on Threads:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Spotted on Telegram:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

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