Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

460 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,729

Funny Quotes Topics

17,751

Funny Quotes Images

15,729

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Making waves on X:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Seen just now on Messenger:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Spotted on Facebook:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Making waves on Twitch:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where a car's turn signal actually works, and pedestrians don't have to play a dangerous game of 'Guess which way this giant metal box is going next?' 🚗💡 Talk about a pedestrian-friendly upgrade! Now if only we could get the drivers to use that magical blinky light consistently… 😅"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

52 shares on X this month:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear music, thanks!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

460 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,729

Funny Quotes Topics

17,751

Funny Quotes Images

15,729

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,602

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Trending via WeChat:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Making waves on Instagram:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Spotted on Threads:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Just shared via Facebook:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Going bananas on Telegram:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Just shared via Threads:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Just shared via Threads:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴