Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Having a lively debate on your daily drive with your alter ego? 🚗💬 Just making sure you're always getting expert advice from your most trusted passenger! 😄 #soloconvos #morningcommuteantics"

car, commute, conversation, hilarious, humor, just, me, morning, myself, self, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

0

2 months ago

40s, age, aging, believe, disbelief, guess, humor, life, life stage, old, second, second guess, stage, welcome
There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

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2 months ago

fix, fun, humor, i, joke, nothing, orgasm, pleasure, research, solution
My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

0

2 months ago

company, diversity, hire, humor, never, twins, workplace
Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

0

2 months ago

chores, daily, daily life, day, dishwasher, family, humor, irony, just, life, teen, teenager, teens, told, worst, worst day
I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

0

2 months ago

bills, cat, freedom, humor, i, job, just, meow, relaxation, wish
I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

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2 months ago

attitude, good-enough, humor, mindset, perfectionist, self-deprecation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

99 shares on X this month:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

12 shares on Discord this month:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I think my type is a nice person.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Just shared via X:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Freshly posted on Threads:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Making waves on Facebook:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Making waves on Slack:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨