Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”. Posted onMay 25, 2026
I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys. Posted onMay 25, 2026
I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul. Posted onMay 25, 2026
It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm. Posted onMay 25, 2026
No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build. Posted onMay 25, 2026
For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see. Posted onMay 25, 2026
“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between. Posted onMay 25, 2026
It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence. Posted onMay 25, 2026
You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days? Posted onMay 25, 2026
I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing. Posted onMay 25, 2026
I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home. Posted onMay 25, 2026
The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel. Posted onMay 25, 2026