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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Making waves on Twitch:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Live now on Messenger:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Making waves on TikTok:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Shared recently on X:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'just be yourself' advice – because apparently, being a chaotic bundle of contradictions is exactly what the world needs more of! 🙃 Embrace the quirky, slightly off-kilter charm of being YOU – it's not for everyone, but hey, who wants to be just like everyone else anyway? 😉✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Live now on Pinterest:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Going viral on Instagram:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Just landed via Instagram:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Going viral on TikTok:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

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