Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Breaking via Slack:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Making waves on Twitch:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Making waves on Slack:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Going viral on Telegram:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Let's not turn April Fool's Day into a full-time job for non-fools! 🤪🚫 Let's respect each other's cultures and leave the prankster hats to the professionals. 🎩✨ #NoFoolinAround"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Slack this month:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

64 shares on Discord this month:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

88 shares on Threads this month:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Just landed via WeChat:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Spotted on Messenger:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Making waves on Pinterest:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

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