Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Just landed via Messenger:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Just landed via Pinterest:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Puberty: the awkward magic trick where you suddenly grow a mustache… and you're a girl! 😂🧙‍♀️✨

adolescence, change, experience, growth, hair, humor, puberty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

1 month ago
childhood, fun, kindergarten, leisure, life, nap, read, reading, relaxation, simple, simple life, snack, time, want
There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

1 month ago
elected, elected official, election, governance, humor, least, lottery, normal, occasionally, official, only, pick, politics, random, well
Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

1 month ago
came, control, discover, exercise, fitness, humor, i, laziness, recliner, remote, remote control, run, running, surprise, treadmill
Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

1 month ago
activity, dad, day, days, energy, fun, fun activity, home, kids, leave, much, rainy, rainy day, shopping, too
I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

1 month ago
crazy, fun, humor, just, mentally, personality, self-description, spicy
The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

1 month ago
adjective, humor, iron, ironic, language, metal, metallic, pun, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Seen just now on X:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Spotted on Threads:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Spotted on Reddit:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Going bananas on Twitch:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Just shared via Messenger:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏