Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,318

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Spotted on Facebook:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Seen just now on Reddit:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Going viral on X:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Going viral on Discord:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

2 months ago

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the dream of a solo mobile throne cruising through the city like a lone ranger! 🚗💨 Who needs crowded buses when you can have a personal chauffeur blasting your favorite tunes? 🎶 Just make sure your imaginary driver doesn't get sassy with backseat driving! 😜"

alone, commuting, great, humor, invention, me, public, public transportation, should, solitude, transportation, type, vehicle, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

2 months ago

20s, 40s, age, around, bedtime, forty, fun, humor, jingle, nightlife, party, ten, twenty
Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

2 months ago

again, behavior, cat, cat style, doggy, doggy style, humor, i, ignore, let, me, pet, pet behavior, playful, relationship, satisfied, scratch, style, touch, try, where
It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, confidence, cool, fear, fish, humor, me, quirky, romance, sad, sadness, self-esteem, want, women
This whole week could have been an email.

2 months ago

communication, email, humor, productivity, week, whole, work
Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

1 month ago

forget, humor, motivation, optional, orgasm, partner, personal, personal well-being, pleasure, self-care, sexuality, today, well-being
“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

2 months ago

being, each other, hug, humor, interaction, just, man, men, months, okay, relationships, should, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Just landed via WeChat:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Trending via Twitch:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

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