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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

58 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Just landed via Discord:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Just landed via Facebook:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Seen just now on Threads:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Trending via Telegram:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Going viral on Messenger:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Jan 20, 2025

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the key to a long life is just taking it slow and steady like a turtle 🐢 Who knew that doing nothing could be so beneficial?! Meanwhile, us humans are constantly running like dogs 🐕 and only living for a fraction of the time. Maybe it's time for us to embrace our inner turtle and chill out more! 🐢🏃‍♂️ #SlowAndSteadyWinsTheRace"

activity, dog, dogs, humor, jump, lesson, lifespan, live, nothing, rabbit, run, turtle

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

58 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Spotted on Slack:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Trending via LinkedIn:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Just shared via Slack:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Reported on Messenger:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Spotted on WeChat:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Reported on Messenger:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

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