Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,871

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Seen just now on Facebook:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Just landed via WeChat:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Just landed via Telegram:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Just shared via Discord:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Shared recently on Messenger:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Trending via Facebook:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

2 months ago

0

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the glorious days of youth when you could blissfully sprawl out like a starfish🌟 Now it's all about strategic maneuvers, shifting like a game of hip-saving chess every quarter hour ⏰ Who knew we'd all turn into human rotisserie chickens with age? 🍗😂 #AdultingStruggles

age, chicken, discomfort, every, hip, hours, humor, hurts, lay, minutes, position, remember, rotation, rotisserie, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

0

5 months ago

bedtime, end, free, free time, humor, i, late, management, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, reason, sleep, start, stay, stay up late, time, time management, tomorrow, want
Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

0

1 month ago

being, confidence, encouragement, humor, individuality, self-acceptance, start, stop, uniqueness, weird, weirdness, worrying
Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

0

1 month ago

absolutely, before, drama, humor, idea, me, mood, mood swing, period, relationship, sarcasm, swing, terrible, warning, week, woman
Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, art, art history, artists, culture, history, humor, mad, ninja, pop, pop culture, renaissance, turtles
Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

0

2 months ago

biopsy, cancer, election, elections, except, family, half, hopes, humor, irony, results, waiting
The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

0

1 week ago

attraction, best, brand, city, city life, daily, daily life, dating, day, every, hot, hot woman, hottest, humor, life, literally, new, NYC, single, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Telegram this month:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

42 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

78 shares on X this month:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

17 shares on Slack this month:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

11 shares on X this month:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,694

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Trending via Telegram:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Trending via TikTok:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Seen just now on X:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Making waves on Threads:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Trending via Discord:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

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