Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Secure your spot in the dental chair pronto, unless you want your dentist dreaming more about yachts than your plaque! 🦷⛵️ Don't let procrastination be the root canal of all evil! 😄"

appointment, before, boat, dentist, early, fretting, humor, month, next, payment, schedule

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, behavior, humor, i, nerf, obey, rule, rules, traffic, traffic rule
Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

0

2 months ago

40s, 60-year-old, age, birthday, feeling, humor, mindset, problem, self-deprecation, still, too
Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

0

2 months ago

advice, friends, humor, marriage, right, say, stress, thing, wedding, wrong, wrong thing
I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

1

2 months ago

animal, death, die, donation, donor, elephant, humor, i, lighthearted, new, organ, organ donor, trunk, want
Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

0

2 months ago

boxed, collector’s, collector’s edition, edition, everything, family, humor, i, illness, meant, mental, mental illness, parent, parents, sarcasm, set
A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

0

2 months ago

away, daily, daily routine, day, doctor, food, garlic, health, humor, routine, wellness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

96 shares on Discord this month:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

85 shares on X this month:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

98 shares on Discord this month:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Spotted on Facebook:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Just shared via Discord:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Just shared via Discord:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Trending via Pinterest:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Spotted on X:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨