Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Just landed via Discord:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I hope this email kills us both.

Spotted on X:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Making waves on Twitch:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Single by choice. Just not my choice. 🤷‍♂️ Forever swiping left on fate's dating app! 😂 #SingleLife"

choice, commitment, dating, fun, humor, irony, just, relationship, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

0

2 months ago

childproof, house, humor, i, irony, kids, parenting, safety
If you love someone, let them sleep.

0

2 months ago

advice, affection, care, humor, let, love, relationship, sleep, someone
I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

0

2 months ago

age, am, back, daily, daily habit, day, every, front, habit, humor, i, newspaper, old, read, reading, single
We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

0

4 months ago

better, elegance, elegant, expression, gorgeous, horny, humor, language, need, sounds, vocabulary, word
I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

0

2 months ago

faking, humor, i, sarcasm, think
Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

0

2 months ago

brain, communication, hate, honesty, humor, impulsiveness, keep, mouth, quiet, regret, self-control, something, speech, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on X this month:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

20 shares on Slack this month:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Blink if you want me!

Seen just now on TikTok:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Breaking via Slack:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Going viral on Facebook:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Just landed via TikTok:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

They’re making me do work at work.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

If you love someone, let them sleep.

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨