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"Ah, sleep – the ultimate escape from adulting responsibilities! 😴 No missed calls, no awkward conversations, just pure blissful nothingness. Who needs therapy when you have a comfy bed, am I right? 🛌💤"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

1 month ago
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I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

1 month ago
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Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

1 month ago
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My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

1 month ago
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Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

1 month ago
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The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

1 month ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Shared recently on Slack:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Breaking via X:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

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Activity Log ✨

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

The shitshow must go on.

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

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Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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