Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Going viral on Snapchat:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Going bananas on Threads:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Breaking via Telegram:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I heard about getting blown to bits, I wasn't expecting a first-class ticket to Smithereens! 💥😂✈️

blown, humor, smithereens, wordplay, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

0

2 months ago

bible, bit, Boots, died, end, fish, humor, i, irony, Jesus, man, me, outside, religion, sins, spoiler, thanks, told, witty
If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, death, death penalty, dessert, ever, hope, humor, i, irony, option, penalty, wish
I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

0

2 months ago

am, experience, gratitude, humor, i, irony, just, lesson, life, life lesson, need, perspective
Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

0

2 months ago

alert, brain, emptiness, empty, health, humor, mental, mental health, stomach, wit
Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

0

2 months ago

air, difference, fresh, fresh air, health, humor, humor quote, nature, outdoors, plant, plants, self-care, sound, sunlight, well-being
Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

0

2 months ago

affection, annoying, heart, humor, love, media, online, online persona, persona, relationship, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

97 shares on Discord this month:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Going bananas on Discord:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Seen just now on Threads:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Just landed via Telegram:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Making waves on Slack:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Just landed via TikTok:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨