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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Going bananas on Threads:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Trending via TikTok:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Breaking via Threads:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Just shared via WeChat:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

2 months ago

0

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'do you trust me?' test – a true gambit of relationships! 🤔 Responding with 'well, I trust you to be you' might guarantee honesty, but it also comes with a free side of awkwardness and a dash of sass! 😆 Remember folks, sometimes it's better to just smile and nod… 😅"

ask, conversation, expectations, humor, i, irony, me, relationship, response, trust, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

0

2 months ago

boot, bootlicker, consequence, fail, humor, irony, justice, karma, punishment, sarcasm, too, understand
It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

0

2 months ago

even, fact, family, growth, humor, important, lessons, life, life lessons, mistakes, parenting, parents, remember, self-awareness, us
When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

0

2 months ago

animal, creation, giraffe, God, humor, joke, mouse, neck, screen
Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

0

2 months ago

adult, baby, brat, corner, dancing, dirty, Dirty Dancing, girl, humor, lesson, movie, needs, nostalgia, right, teenager, watching
Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

0

2 months ago

aging, enjoy, fatter, going, humor, life, older, only, perspective
Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, machine, mindfulness, presence, present, right, science, set, time, time machine, time travel, travel, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

45 shares on Threads this month:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

77 shares on Threads this month:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

56 shares on X this month:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

56 shares on X this month:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

95 shares on Threads this month:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,479

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Making waves on WeChat:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Trending via WeChat:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Spotted on Telegram:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

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