Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Live now on Facebook:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Just shared via Threads:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Live now on Snapchat:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Just shared via Snapchat:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Trending via Reddit:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“You’re crazy.” God forbid I keep my family traits alive.

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

1 week ago

Playful quote about trust mishaps, with witty words on humorous relationship banter.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'do you trust me?' test – a true gambit of relationships! 🤔 Responding with 'well, I trust you to be you' might guarantee honesty, but it also comes with a free side of awkwardness and a dash of sass! 😆 Remember folks, sometimes it's better to just smile and nod… 😅"

ask, conversation, expectations, humor, i, irony, me, relationship, response, trust, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

2 days ago

40, 6, adulting, beverages, cheese, coffee, drinking, humor, percentages, wine
I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

3 weeks ago

allowed, anxiety, hour, humor, i, introvert, limit, over, public, social, social anxiety, think, time, time limit
Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

1 week ago

2030, carbonation, coke, Coke Zero, drink, drinking, drinks, fizzy, fizzy drink, government, government pledge, humor, pledge, satire, sounds, zero
I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

4 weeks ago

boredom, dilemma, enjoyment, entertainment, finishing, hate, i, series, sery
To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

3 months ago

career, cut, editing, editor, film, film editor, humor, i, pun, short, short story, story, storytelling
Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

2 weeks ago

behavior, electricity, empowerment, ever, fork, humor, i, irony, risky, risky behavior, socket, time, unexpected

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Discord this month:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

28 shares on YouTube this month:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Trending via YouTube:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Trending via Instagram:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Trending via TikTok:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Live now on Messenger:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Live now on Reddit:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Trending via Discord:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴