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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2266 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,428

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,428

1 hour ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Just shared via TikTok:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Trending via Facebook:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Spotted on Facebook:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

6 months ago

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'do you trust me?' test – a true gambit of relationships! 🤔 Responding with 'well, I trust you to be you' might guarantee honesty, but it also comes with a free side of awkwardness and a dash of sass! 😆 Remember folks, sometimes it's better to just smile and nod… 😅"

ask, conversation, expectations, humor, i, irony, me, relationship, response, trust, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2266 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,428

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,428

1 hour ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Just shared via Instagram:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Just shared via Threads:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Just landed via Instagram:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Just landed via Slack:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Just landed via Instagram:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Breaking via Reddit:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Spotted on Discord:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

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