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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Seen just now on Threads:

I am cassette tape years old.

Going viral on Facebook:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Shared recently on Discord:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Spotted on TikTok:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Just shared via Facebook:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

2 months ago

0

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'do you trust me?' test – a true gambit of relationships! 🤔 Responding with 'well, I trust you to be you' might guarantee honesty, but it also comes with a free side of awkwardness and a dash of sass! 😆 Remember folks, sometimes it's better to just smile and nod… 😅"

ask, conversation, expectations, humor, i, irony, me, relationship, response, trust, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

0

2 months ago

choose, every, jacket, time, where, wrong, year
My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

0

2 months ago

advice, count, diet, different, fruit, health, humor, i, me, need, nutritionist, source, told, wine
When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

0

2 months ago

animals, biblical, humor, i, Noah, perspective, realize, wisdom, world
With great power comes a great electricity bill.

0

2 months ago

bill, electricity, expense, great, humor, irony, power, responsibility
You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

0

2 months ago

alcoholic, humor, i, know, never, nose, nostalgia, observation, old, weird
If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

0

2 months ago

animal, chicken, food, good, humor, irony, taste, understand, understanding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

14 shares on X this month:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

56 shares on Slack this month:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,492

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Making waves on X:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Just landed via Slack:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Seen just now on Discord:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Just landed via YouTube:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Making waves on YouTube:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Trending via YouTube:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Just landed via YouTube:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

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