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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Going viral on Telegram:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Going viral on X:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Just shared via Discord:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Making waves on Twitch:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Freshly posted on Discord:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Trending via Reddit:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Freshly posted on X:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

14 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about honesty with a bold, playful tone.

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Commentary:
Bet your truth comes with a warning label and a lighter! 🔥😂💨

blunt, humor, pun, smoke, truth, wordplay

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39 shares on WeChat this month:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Trending via Telegram:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Going bananas on Twitch:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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