Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Trending via YouTube:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Just shared via Instagram:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Making waves on Discord:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Trending via Pinterest:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Just shared via Facebook:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Bet your truth comes with a warning label and a lighter! 🔥😂💨

blunt, humor, pun, smoke, truth, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

2 months ago

accounts, avoid, avoidance, dating, deactivation, girl, girl math, humor, math, media, only, person, relationship, social, social media
Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

4 months ago

anger, angry, control, emotions, funnier, funny moment, humor, manipulate, manipulation, moment, nothing, reaction, realize, seeing, someone
My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

2 months ago

adventure, aspiration, bag, big, career, goal, humor, main, moment, money, treasure, woods
Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

2 months ago

being, curse, drive, high, hopeless, hopeless romantic, humor, introvert, personality, personality traits, romantic, sex, sex drive, traits
My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

2 months ago

acting, ants, car, crumb, Gretel, Hansel, kids, leaving, parenting, shocked, trails
My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

5 months ago

fast, fast food, food, humor, McRib, parasite, podcast, starting, tapeworm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

86 shares on Slack this month:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

11 shares on Threads this month:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Spotted on TikTok:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Just landed via Pinterest:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Going viral on Instagram:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Broadcasted on Discord:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Broadcasted on X:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Just landed via Reddit:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨