Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sounds like a classic case of mixing up your to-do list with your chores list 🤣. Don't forget to check off 'feeling accomplished' at the end of the day! 🧺🐱🚿🗑️🧍"

absurdity, anything, cat, chores, disposal, else, garbage, humor, laundry, myself, shower, showered

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

0

2 months ago

catch, confidence, dating, flirt, fun, humor, me, never, relationship, romantic, single, too
I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

0

5 months ago

dialogue, head, humor, internal, internal dialogue, me, much, self, self-doubt, starting, think, voice
Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

0

2 weeks ago

Elon, Elon Musk, ever, exactly, humor, internet, internet humor, life, media, musk, read, social, social media, stupid, tweet
If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

0

2 months ago

behavior, bragging, happiness, happy, humility, humor, keep, know, likes, sarcasm, self-control, social, social behavior, yourself
“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

0

5 months ago

adult, aging, confusion, forgetfulness, forgetting, humor, i, memory, room, too, walking, why, young, young adult
What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

0

2 months ago

action, consequence, deserve, done, humor, i, irony, oh, reflection, remember, right

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

21 shares on X this month:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

77 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

88 shares on X this month:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

34 shares on X this month:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Making waves on Messenger:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Trending via Messenger:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Spotted on Instagram:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Spotted on Discord:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨