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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Making waves on X:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Trending via Instagram:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Going viral on Discord:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Humorous text about a chaotic day, mixing chores and self-care with witty flair.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like a classic case of mixing up your to-do list with your chores list 🤣. Don't forget to check off 'feeling accomplished' at the end of the day! 🧺🐱🚿🗑️🧍"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on TikTok this month:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

28 shares on Discord this month:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Milk or be milked.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Spotted on Instagram:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Trending via X:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Spotted on Slack:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Going viral on Facebook:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Just shared via Discord:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

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