So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.