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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Going bananas on Discord:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Trending via WeChat:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Spotted on Messenger:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

1 month ago

Witty text about women gossiping in French, humorously implying they're unaware of being overheard.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🇫🇷 Ah, the universal gossiping language: French! These women clearly underestimated the multilingual powers of our not-so-dumb American friend here. 😏 Who knew being underestimated could be so entertaining? C'est la vie! 💁‍♀️

American, correct, culture, dumb, french, gossip, humor, language, me, misunderstanding, next, observation, speak, stereotype, think, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

28 shares on Discord this month:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

59 shares on Slack this month:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Just landed via Pinterest:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Going viral on Slack:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Shared recently on Discord:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Shared recently on Facebook:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

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