Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
  • Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.
  • When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.
  • I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.
  • Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.
  • The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.