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Commentary:
"Living the dream? More like living a nightmare! 😂💭 Who dreams of chaos and madness, am I right? This is the stuff of a comedy movie gone wrong! 🤪 #RealityCheck"

assurance, disappointment, dream, expectation, here, humor, i, just, life, living, me, never, reality, right, sarcasm, shit, somebody, told

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Just landed via Telegram:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Live now on X:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Breaking via Twitch:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Going viral on WeChat:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Just shared via Twitch:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨