Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.
  • There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.
  • I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.
  • Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?
  • Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.
  • Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.