Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.
  • Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.
  • If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.
  • Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.
  • I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.
  • The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?