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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Spotted on Slack:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Just landed via Threads:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Spotted on TikTok:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Breaking via Telegram:

Coffee is just goth water.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Trending via Messenger:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

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Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.
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Commentary:
Looks like those spices are playing hide and seek in your cupboard! 🕵️‍♂️ Maybe they're waiting for a special medieval dish to make a comeback. Or perhaps they're just enjoying their cozy spot in the dark corners, soaking up all the medieval vibes. 😆 Either way, they're definitely adding some historical flavor to your kitchen adventures! 🏰🌶️ #SpiceQuest

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on TikTok this month:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

64 shares on Slack this month:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Freshly posted on X:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Trending via WeChat:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Going bananas on WeChat:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Just landed via Snapchat:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Live now on Messenger:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Spotted on TikTok:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

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