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"Ah, Sunday – the day of grand plans and good intentions, where productivity is as elusive as a unicorn in a grocery store! 🦄😅 Who else's to-do list magically grows longer as the day gets shorter?"

day, favorite, favorite day, going, humor, i, pretend, procrastination, productive, relaxation, something, Sunday, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

1 month ago
aspiration, budget, even, fashion, humor, just, money, personal, personal style, real, style, vision, wait
Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

1 month ago
car, cars, cream, funny idea, humor, ice, ice cream, idea, minor, minor offense, music, offense, over, play, police, police car, should, something, truck
Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

1 month ago
humor, irony, offended, relationship, someone, treat
I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

4 months ago
adult, adult life, adulthood, adulting, feel, humor, i, large, life, life struggle, looking, portion, procrastination, responsibility, struggle
Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

1 month ago
baby, bad, bad mood, field, humor, innovation, mood, reason
On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

1 month ago
chores, dishes, downside, help, helping, humor, kids, parenting, upside

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

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Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

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You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

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People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

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As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

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You are the Monday of my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Seen just now on Slack:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Going viral on WeChat:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Live now on Slack:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

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Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Talents: eating!

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

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Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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