Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, Sunday – the day of grand plans and good intentions, where productivity is as elusive as a unicorn in a grocery store! 🦄😅 Who else's to-do list magically grows longer as the day gets shorter?"

day, favorite, favorite day, going, humor, i, pretend, procrastination, productive, relaxation, something, Sunday, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, frustration, getting, honesty, humor, own, real, reality, self, tired
Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

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2 months ago

3, actually, coffee, day, eat, eating, eating habit, habit, iced, iced coffee, just, meal, meals, people, still, stress, survival, survive
Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

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2 months ago

compensation, effort, hard, humor, motivation, procrastination, sarcasm, self-deprecation, smart, work, work hard, work smart
I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

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2 weeks ago

apathy, care, dating, emotion, humor, i, indifference, love, me, relationship, romance
I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

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2 months ago

computer, found, freezing, humor, i, joke, open, technology, troubleshooting, window
Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

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2 months ago

again, bed, cool, cooler, getting, hide, humor, nights, search, sleep, spider, warmth, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

46 shares on X this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Just landed via X:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Just landed via Instagram:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Live now on Snapchat:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Seen just now on Discord:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Going bananas on Discord:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Breaking via Discord:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Breaking via Threads:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Seen just now on YouTube:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Just shared via TikTok:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨