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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I donโ€™t go camping.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

I donโ€™t have a welcome mat at my front door because Iโ€™m not a liar.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting โ€œsend nudesโ€ when heโ€™s in a work meeting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on Snapchat:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Shared recently on TikTok:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Caught my husband staring at me again. Heโ€™s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Making waves on Slack:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Just shared via WeChat:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, โ€œthis looks like a job for a binder clip.โ€

Going viral on WeChat:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Playful quote about Sunday being the day of pretend productivity.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Ah, Sunday – the day of grand plans and good intentions, where productivity is as elusive as a unicorn in a grocery store! ๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿ˜… Who else's to-do list magically grows longer as the day gets shorter?"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

39 shares on Messenger this month:

I havenโ€™t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and Iโ€™ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Neurodivergents will be like, โ€˜Iโ€™m so tired,โ€™ and then refuse to sleep because they havenโ€™t had enough me time after surviving the day.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, โ€˜Alan Rickman ruins Christmasโ€™ is a whole movie subgenre.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Might start signing off emails with โ€˜well, I hope youโ€™re happyโ€™

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

A late person is never happier than when the person theyโ€™re meeting is later than them.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but weโ€™re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

What do you mean itโ€™s Monday? We just had Monday. This canโ€™t be right.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Just shared via TikTok:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like โ€œyour top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.โ€

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I wanna be a jellyfishโ€” no heart, no brain, no feelings, no painโ€” just blub blub blub.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sorry, Iโ€™m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Spotted on YouTube:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Spotted on Threads:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Freshly posted on X:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

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