Trendy Funny Quotes

  • ‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.
  • Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.
  • People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.
  • People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.
  • Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.
  • And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.