Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Going bananas on Slack:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Making waves on Threads:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Spotted on Discord:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Just landed via Telegram:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Shared recently on WeChat:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Playful quote about humorously choosing farting over sex to relieve stomach pain.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced the miraculous healing power of a well-timed fart? 💨🤣 Who needs medicine when you've got nature's own remedy at your disposal! #GasIsTheBestMedicine"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Slack this month:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

43 shares on Discord this month:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Trending via Messenger:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Going viral on Slack:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Trending via Messenger:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Going viral on Telegram:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

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