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"Sure, sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced the miraculous healing power of a well-timed fart? 💨🤣 Who needs medicine when you've got nature's own remedy at your disposal! #GasIsTheBestMedicine"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

1 month ago

donuts, humor, job, just, layoff, snack, tank, think, think tank, thinking, workplace
My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

1 month ago

bagel, creativity, everything, everywhere, food, humor, joke, just, mess, parenting, son
Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

1 month ago

activity, alone, alone time, avoidance, concert, DaBaby, event, fun, fun activity, humor, i, introvert, music, music event, need, social, social avoidance, time
I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

4 weeks ago

bit, daughter, family, father, forgiveness, humor, i, little, lose, mind, realize, relationship, think, wife
So many people to disappoint, so little time.

1 month ago

disappointment, expectations, humor, irony, life, little, people, sarcasm, time
There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

1 month ago

app, diary, form, here, humor, humor quote, people, sarcasm, say, seeking, self-awareness, validation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

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Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

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My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

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First World War. Kind of nervous.

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I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Trending via Slack:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Breaking via Threads:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Seen just now on X:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Shared recently on Threads:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

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Activity Log ✨

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

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Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

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