Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.
  • I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.
  • Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.
  • They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.
  • I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.
  • Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.