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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,524

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Trending via Pinterest:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Making waves on Discord:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Breaking via Slack:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Trending via Twitch:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Shared recently on WeChat:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

2 months ago

0

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to fix a broken person and expecting a different outcome is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. 🤦‍♀️ Maybe it's time to upgrade to someone who comes pre-assembled! 😉🔧"

back, broken, broken girl, fix, girl, guy, heartbreak, humor, irony, love, relationship, same, same guy, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

0

2 months ago

better, buy, came, castle, differences, everyone, humor, imagine, me, much, set, together, unity, world
Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

0

2 months ago

20, brain, brains, clue, email, every, forget, forgetfulness, Funny, got, humor, i, irony, memory, password, remember, song, word
I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

0

2 months ago

cinema, days, days off, desire, entertainment, feast, five, fun, high, i, laptop, relaxation, return, row, too, where, work
You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

0

2 months ago

celebration, clothes, family, fit, food, humor, know, longer, overeating, success, successful, Thanksgiving
Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, just, mindset, problem, stress, worry, worrying, worship
I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, home, humor, i, tomorrow, want, work, workday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

89 shares on X this month:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

46 shares on Instagram this month:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am half agony, half hope.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Making waves on Facebook:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Going viral on Facebook:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Freshly posted on X:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Making waves on Messenger:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Breaking via TikTok:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

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