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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Trending via Facebook:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Reported on Reddit:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Just landed via YouTube:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Just shared via Discord:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Just landed via Telegram:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Making waves on Messenger:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to fix a broken person and expecting a different outcome is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. 🤦‍♀️ Maybe it's time to upgrade to someone who comes pre-assembled! 😉🔧"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Trending via Pinterest:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Just shared via X:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Shared recently on Discord:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Spotted on Slack:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Just shared via WeChat:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Going viral on Messenger:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Just shared via Facebook:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

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