Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

People on diet arenโ€™t mad at you. Theyโ€™re mad at their lunch.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,758

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Spotted on Facebook:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Do you ever feel like youโ€™re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Going viral on Reddit:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Breaking via Telegram:

My kids didnโ€™t follow me into the bathroom so now Iโ€™m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.
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Commentary:
"Tears for Fears had big dreams of ruling the world ๐ŸŒ, but let's be real, I just want a solid 8 hours of sleep without any interruptions ๐ŸŒ™๐Ÿ˜ด. Who needs a kingdom when you've got a cozy bed, am I right? ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ’ค"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,888

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

At least I can say I tried. I didnโ€™t try, but I can say I did.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Twitch:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say Iโ€™ve got something to post.

Making waves on YouTube:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, Iโ€™m just going to start filibustering.

Just shared via Twitch:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

At my age, Iโ€™m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. Iโ€™m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Trending via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Just shared via Twitch:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

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