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When you just can't relax during a massage because you're determined to outmaneuver those sneaky knots like 💪😅 #MassageWars #TenseAndWin

humor, massage, masseuse, relaxation, struggle, tension, win

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My brain has too many tabs open.

0

2 months ago

brain, confusion, humor, multitasking, open, tabs
I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

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2 months ago

AI, common, comparison, confidence, confident, humor, i, incorrect, incorrect information, information, lot, occasionally, technology, tone
What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

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2 months ago

always, business, context, dream, dreams, getting, having, just, point, sex, sex dream, wake, wake up
Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

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2 months ago

12, alone, alone time, day, hack, hours, life, life hack, mental, mental preparation, mentally, morning, morning routine, personal, personal time, preparation, productivity, routine, self-care, time, yourself
I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

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2 months ago

distracted, distracted driving, drive, driving, driving humor, effect, food, humor, i, passenger, passenger effect, person, road, road safety, safety, seat, sitting
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

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2 months ago

electronic, humor, joke, malfunction, need, smoke, technology, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

17 shares on Threads this month:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

22 shares on Discord this month:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Spotted on X:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Shared recently on Messenger:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Seen just now on Instagram:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Breaking via Facebook:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Breaking via Snapchat:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My brain has too many tabs open.

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨