Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Trending via Telegram:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Just shared via Discord:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Just shared via Facebook:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Breaking via Telegram:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Going viral on Slack:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me: *sends enthusiastic text about work*

Boss: *ignores*

Me: *cries in emojis* 😭💔

Who knew excitement was a one-sided affair at the office? 🤷‍♂️💼 #MondayBlues"

am, boss, communication, excited, humor, i, know, let, texting, tomorrow, work, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

0

2 months ago

apology, awkward, awkward moment, bite, flirt, funny interaction, humor, i, interaction, moment, relationship, sorry, trying
Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

0

2 months ago

40s, 60-year-old, age, birthday, feeling, humor, mindset, problem, self-deprecation, still, too
Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

0

2 months ago

anything, birthday, celebration, expectations, gift, government, humor, irony, knows, me, never
It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

0

2 months ago

attitude, freedom, Friday, fun, humor, relaxation, rules, weekend
If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

0

2 months ago

adventure, drinking, enforcement, humor, law, law enforcement, listening, nightlife, party, story
The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

0

2 months ago

communication, concern, distraction, humor, joke, lion, microsoft, Microsoft Teams, office, productivity, Teams, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

92 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

68 shares on WeChat this month:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Going viral on TikTok:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Making waves on YouTube:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Just landed via TikTok:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Trending via TikTok:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨