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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Spotted on Telegram:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Trending via Snapchat:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Just landed via WeChat:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Going viral on Snapchat:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Spotted on Reddit:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

1 month ago

Humorous message about excitedly texting the boss about tomorrow's work.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me: *sends enthusiastic text about work*

Boss: *ignores*

Me: *cries in emojis* 😭💔

Who knew excitement was a one-sided affair at the office? 🤷‍♂️💼 #MondayBlues"

am, boss, communication, excited, humor, i, know, let, texting, tomorrow, work, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

17 shares on X this month:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

68 shares on Discord this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

49 shares on X this month:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Trending via Threads:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Just shared via Instagram:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Going viral on X:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Live now on Facebook:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Live now on YouTube:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Seen just now on Discord:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨