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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

1 hour ago

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Slack:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Trending via Telegram:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Just shared via TikTok:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Going viral on Pinterest:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Spotted on Discord:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Just landed via Pinterest:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

6 months ago

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

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Commentary:
"Forgiveness can be like a rollercoaster ride 🎢 – the first time with love is all warm and fuzzy, the second with hope is like riding a small bump, but the third time with stupidity… well, you might as well be riding the loop-de-loop! 🤪 Let's hope we all learn our lesson before getting dizzy! 🌀"

forgive, hope, humor, love, relationships, second, stupidity, third, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

1 hour ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on LinkedIn:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Shared recently on Slack:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Just landed via Telegram:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Making waves on Slack:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Reported on X:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Spotted on Reddit:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Just landed via Threads:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Breaking via WeChat:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

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