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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Just landed via Facebook:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Just shared via Discord:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Shared recently on Telegram:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Going viral on Facebook:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

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The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.
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Commentary:
"Forgiveness can be like a rollercoaster ride 🎢 – the first time with love is all warm and fuzzy, the second with hope is like riding a small bump, but the third time with stupidity… well, you might as well be riding the loop-de-loop! 🤪 Let's hope we all learn our lesson before getting dizzy! 🌀"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Instagram this month:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

25 shares on X this month:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

54 shares on Discord this month:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

61 shares on Slack this month:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Going viral on Discord:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Breaking via WeChat:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Going viral on YouTube:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Spotted on Telegram:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

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