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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Making waves on Reddit:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Live now on Twitch:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Just landed via Telegram:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Shared recently on Discord:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when your watch only told you the time and not the number of steps you skipped! ⌚️🍰 #NostalgiaVsReality

charge, days, fat, good, good old days, humor, nostalgia, old, remind, reminder, technology, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

4 months ago

actually, answer, delivery, door, food, Funny, hands, humor, joke, people, pizza, think, visitor
“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

1 month ago

Amazon, asked, ChatGPT, communication, confiding, corporate, exxon, Exxon Mobil, humor, humor communication, humor relationship, i, inside, inside joke, irony, joke, McDonald’s, mobil, relationship
If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

4 months ago

anyone, different, different realm, escape, fantasy, humor, introvert, joke, me, needs, realm, social, social withdrawal, withdrawal
Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

1 month ago

body, body image, extra, extra weight, humor, i, image, leave, love, me, motivation, relationship, self-deprecation, telling, thinking, too, weight
I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

2 months ago

animal, animals, attack, entertainment, humorous, i, nature, never, rooting, seen, single, video
Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

2 months ago

baby, bite, glasses, humor, i, know, nose, parenting, reputation, where

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Broadcasted on X:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Just shared via WeChat:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Going viral on Facebook:

Earth is hard.

Just landed via X:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

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The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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