Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.
  • The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.
  • Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.
  • Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.
  • Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?
  • My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.