Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.
  • I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.
  • I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.
  • It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.
  • We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.
  • Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.