Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.
  • Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.
  • I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.
  • I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
  • I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.
  • I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.