Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.
  • I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.
  • All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.
  • When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.
  • Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.
  • Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”