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Commentary:
"Looks like someone's trying to turn their s'mores into a balanced meal! 🍢🥦 Dr. Veggie must be steaming like a pot of boiling water right now! 🔥😂 #MarshmallowMathematics"

anger, diet, doctor, food, humor, i, insist, marshmallow, vegetable, vegetables

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

0

2 months ago

expectation, experience, humor, lesson, want, wanted
Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

0

2 months ago

activity, chair, desk, fast, hate, humor, imagine, just, me, office, spinning, work
Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

0

2 months ago

blocked, dating, dorito, humor, me, neato, pringle, quirkiness, relationship, single, someone
Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, chat, communication, Earth, extraterrestrial, group, group chat, humor, joke, stop
My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

0

2 months ago

being, bounced, check, guess, health, humor, insane, mental, mental health, perspective, reality, reality check, sarcasm, stay, time
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

0

2 months ago

asking, Friday, front, girl, humor, just, longing, Monday, procrastination, standing, weekend, workweek

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

95 shares on Discord this month:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

71 shares on X this month:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Making waves on Slack:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Trending via Telegram:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Just landed via Pinterest:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨