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Commentary:
"Who needs a designer wardrobe when you can rock a hospital gown like a runway model? 💁‍♂️💸 Just remember, it's all about the accessories – like those stylish backless ties! 😂👗 #FashionStatement #HospitalChic"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

0

2 months ago

diet, fat, health, humor, joke, mosquito
Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

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2 months ago

bartender, baseball, explain, guy, humor, i, just, meeting, met, music, please, situation, social, social situation, trying, turn, works
Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

0

2 months ago

adventure, ask, dinosaur, end, fun, humor, i, just, much, once, relaxation, slide, too, wish, workday
Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, chest, girl, girls, humor, i, laid, last, laugh, laughing, me, moment, relationship, time
My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

0

2 months ago

activity, event, experience, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, last, rodeo, same
I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

0

2 months ago

afternoon, evening, functioning, humor, i, morning, person, personality, pretty, sleep, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

68 shares on Reddit this month:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Shared recently on X:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Making waves on Reddit:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Breaking via Facebook:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Live now on YouTube:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Just landed via Twitch:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Just shared via TikTok:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Just shared via Slack:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨