Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. It's like battling White Walkers in a boardroom setting. Winter is coming…to my to-do list. ❄️👔 #GameOfMeetings"

comparison, dark, day, exhaustion, full, humor, meetings, night, same, same thing, terrors, thing, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

0

3 months ago

12, back, came, childhood, humor, i, memory, never, nostalgia, password, passwords, procrastination, security
I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

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6 months ago

adult, adulting, being, breakfast, budgeting, cake, health, humor, i, irony, meant, mental, mental health, therapy, thought
I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

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4 months ago

exercise, going, here, humor, i, just, mouth, procrastination, run, running, talking
The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

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2 months ago

break, cat, day, home, humor, i, isolation, me, needs, office, only, pet, reason, relationship, staring, work, work from home
Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

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6 months ago

advice, care, day, day off, days, humor, job, jobs, self, self-care, take, work
Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

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2 months ago

camping, disappear, disappearing, fear, humor, inside, mind, never, sight, spider, surprise, tent, unexpected

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

14 shares on Threads this month:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

98 shares on Threads this month:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Making waves on YouTube:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Just shared via Facebook:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Making waves on X:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Making waves on TikTok:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Trending via TikTok:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Seen just now on Slack:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Trending via Snapchat:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Just shared via TikTok:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Going bananas on X:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨