The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Commentary:
Middle names: the ultimate danger gauge for parents. 🚨 One moment you're "John Michael" and the next you're "John Christopher" – that means you're in BIG trouble! 😂 It's like a secret code that only moms and dads can decipher. 👀 #MiddleNameMysteries