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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Making waves on Discord:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Spotted on Telegram:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Spotted on Messenger:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Shared recently on Slack:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Shared recently on Threads:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.
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Commentary:
"Apparently, online recipes didn't get the memo about the part where they're supposed to magically cook themselves and deliver to your doorstep like a culinary fairy godmother 🧚‍♂️🍴 #CookingStruggles"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Reported on WeChat:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Making waves on Telegram:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Making waves on WeChat:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

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