Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Jan 11, 2026

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Spotted on Slack:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Going viral on Facebook:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Just shared via Reddit:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Trending via Twitch:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Making waves on Messenger:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Shared recently on Slack:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

3 months ago

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic donut dilemma – the catalyst for many epic rivalries throughout history. 🍩😂 Talk about a sweet battle for supremacy! Watch out, donut thief, your new arch nemesis is coming for that sugary prize! 💥👀"

conflict, craving, donut, humor, hunger, i, jealousy, me, nemesis, person, rivalry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

2 months ago

education, frustration, hate, humor, i, irony, know, put, question, school, teacher, work
When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

1 month ago

common, death, definition, die, disappointed, disappointment, history, humor, i, just, language, misunderstanding, search, search history, sure, through, using, word, words
I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

2 months ago

9, advice, before, career, casual, casual dating, dating, going, humor, i, life, life advice, long-term, long-term relationship, recommend, relationship, relationships, sleep
I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

2 months ago

afraid, alive, cemetery, death, fear, ghost, hand, humor, i, joke, kid, little, me, told, too, used
I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

2 months ago

buy, buying, celebration, consumerism, different, humor, i, irony, need, shopping, thing, want, wanted
The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

2 months ago

after, before, before and after, cleaned, house, humor, lot, money, photos, release, threatening, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

17 shares on Slack this month:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

45 shares on Threads this month:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Trending via Threads:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Trending via Discord:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Spotted on TikTok:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Going viral on Reddit:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Just landed via Discord:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Live now on X:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴