Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic donut dilemma – the catalyst for many epic rivalries throughout history. 🍩😂 Talk about a sweet battle for supremacy! Watch out, donut thief, your new arch nemesis is coming for that sugary prize! 💥👀"

conflict, craving, donut, humor, hunger, i, jealousy, me, nemesis, person, rivalry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

2 months ago

bitchy, bloated, dwarf, forgetful, health, humor, itchy, menopause, psycho, sleepy, snow, Snow White, sweaty, white, women’s, women’s health
Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

2 months ago

clerk, decision, funny moment, help, here, humor, i, interaction, liquor, liquor store, me, moment, need, social, social interaction, store, yes
You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

4 months ago

billionaire, closer, commentary, ever, humor, proximity, social, social commentary, street
Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

6 months ago

behavior, cult, humor, introvert, making, only, side eye, silence, sit, social, social behavior, suspicion
Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

3 months ago

5, five, five years, funny response, good, good listener, humor, interview, interview question, interviewer, job, job interview, job interviewer, listener, me, question, response, strength, time, where, year’s, yourself
I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

6 months ago

accept, confusion, cookie, enough, even, humor, i, internet, know, means, privacy, reject, started, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Discord this month:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

55 shares on Discord this month:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Spotted on X:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Spotted on WeChat:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Making waves on X:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Going bananas on Messenger:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Just shared via Messenger:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Making waves on Reddit:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨