Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.
  • I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.
  • My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.
  • I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
  • When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.
  • I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.