The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Commentary:
“Looks like the Pope missed out on scoring some divine holiday bonuses this year! 🎅🎄🎁 #PopeProblems”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

    Commentary:
    “Oh no, talk about adding insult to injury! 🥪💳 Maybe they thought you were treating them to a free show along with a sandwich? 😂 Better luck with your next card swipe!”

  • I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal struggle of striving for balance while literally carrying the weight of the world! 🌍💪 Just your friendly neighborhood Atlas casually trying to avoid getting a backache. Remember, it’s all about that core strength and a good chiropractor! 😄”

  • One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the sheer bliss of sipping on coffee while someone else tackles the endless aisles of decision-making 🛒☕️ Who knew laziness could taste so delicious? #GroceryGoals”

  • The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

    Commentary:
    “Ah, The History Channel: where ancient aliens are our unsung heroes and conspiracy theories are served with a side of bizarre enlightenment! 👽🛸 Who needs textbooks when you have extraterrestrial intervention to thank for everything, right? 😉 #HistoryAccordingToAliens”

  • Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

    Commentary:
    “Feeling like a hotel microwave: all that potential, but in reality, just a warm and forgettable presence 🍿💥 Just waiting for someone to hit the ‘start’ button on life! 🔌 #MicrowaveMood”

  • Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

    Commentary:
    “Channeling my inner caveman before unleashing the fashionista within! 🦍✂️✨ #RuggedToRunway”