Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Spotted on TikTok:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Making waves on Messenger:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Making waves on Threads:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Just shared via Discord:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew being proven wrong could be so disastrous? 🌪️💨💔 #EpicFail"

die, filming, getting, humor, idiot, irony, knowing, regret, right, tornado, wife, worst, worst part

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

0

5 months ago

brain, confusion, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, inner, inner voice, love, memory, refuses, reminder, something, thought, voice
So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

0

3 months ago

car, car crash, crash, crazy, daily, daily life, day, dentist, every, fascism, frustration, humor, i, irony, just, life, living, man, motion, slow, slow motion, still, through
My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

0

2 months ago

existential, favorite, humor, humor quote, irony, looking, meaning, none, pastime, philosophical, sarcasm, where
I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

0

2 months ago

activity, heat, humor, i, imagine, irony, outdoor, outdoor activity, shoveling, snow, struggle, weather, winter
If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

0

5 months ago

desire, gift, humor, moon, relationship, romantic, wants
I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

0

3 months ago

asked, boss, conversation, employee, everyone, hire, hiring, humor, i, insult, joke, knows, me, people, remember, stupid, stupidity, told, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Reddit this month:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

64 shares on Threads this month:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

99 shares on Threads this month:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Just landed via X:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Spotted on Slack:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Trending via Reddit:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Just shared via TikTok:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨