Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🎅🔥 "Ah, the classic case of Santa vs. sanity! 🤪 Who needs evidence when we have our precious minds to protect? Don't worry, Santa, we've got our eye on you! 👀🎄"

came, chimney, holiday, humor, i, last, lost, mind, night, preposterous, rumors, someone, surprise, unexpected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

0

2 months ago

angel, chat, coordination, fate, future, future husband, group, group chat, guardian, guardian angel, humor, husband, i, love, relationship, trying, wonder
Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

0

2 months ago

battery, hack, humor, knee, life, life hack, remote, science, slap, technology, TV
I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

0

2 months ago

attitude, care, disappointed, disappointment, humor, i, impressed, independence, me, parental, parental relationship, parents, relationship, sarcasm
“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

0

2 months ago

alphabetical, alphabetical order, English, English language, facetious, humor, joke, language, language joke, order, said, vowel, vowels, wordplay, words
Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

0

2 months ago

bite, existence, existential, horror, humor, irony, let, night, sleep
“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

0

2 months ago

arrogance, better, comparison, confidence, else, everyone, humor, humor quote, joy, sarcasm, self-esteem, thief, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

70 shares on Threads this month:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

89 shares on Threads this month:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Just landed via X:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Just landed via Twitch:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Live now on Slack:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Breaking via Telegram:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Going viral on Twitch:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Spotted on Twitch:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Making waves on YouTube:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨