Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🎅🔥 "Ah, the classic case of Santa vs. sanity! 🤪 Who needs evidence when we have our precious minds to protect? Don't worry, Santa, we've got our eye on you! 👀🎄"

came, chimney, holiday, humor, i, last, lost, mind, night, preposterous, rumors, someone, surprise, unexpected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

0

5 months ago

25, advice, age, around, humor, interaction, just, me, sarcasm, social, social interaction, under, youth
I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

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2 months ago

bed, blanket, comfort, humor, i, laziness, let, me, morning, need, sleep, struggle, weighted, weighted blanket
I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

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2 months ago

always, corrected, footwear, humor, i, misconception, orthopaedic, orthopaedic shoe, pun, shoe, stand, thought
Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

0

4 months ago

humor, loud, louder, motivation, music, need, problem, problem-solving, shit, solving, sometimes, sort, turn
I put the hot in psychotic.

0

2 months ago

confidence, hot, humor, i, personality, psychotic, put, self-deprecation, wit
“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

0

2 months ago

capitalism, communism, even, good, humor, ideology, political, political ideology, practice, satire, sound, sounds, theory, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

56 shares on Twitch this month:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Live now on X:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Making waves on Instagram:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Just landed via Threads:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Shared recently on X:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Making waves on Facebook:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Live now on YouTube:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

I put the hot in psychotic.

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨