There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

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The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

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I’m sick of living through history!

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Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

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Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

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Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

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Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

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If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

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Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

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Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

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The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.