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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Making waves on Threads:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Trending via Facebook:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Spotted on Telegram:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Trending via Discord:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Trending via WhatsApp:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Seen just now on Discord:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Going viral on Twitch:

Being awake is the worst.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Playful quote about bad timing for toenail clipping at the library.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew the library had a strict "no clipping zones" policy? 🚫📚 Looks like even in the world of literature, some things are best kept to yourself…or at least saved for home spa day! 💅😂 #KeepItClassy

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

96 shares on Instagram this month:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Spotted on X:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Making waves on Telegram:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Just shared via Twitch:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Trending via Threads:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

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