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Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the mile-high smoking lounge! Because nothing says 'taking flight' quite like a nicotine fix with a side of fresh air…or turbulence. ✈️🚬 Just remember to buckle up your seatbelt and hold onto your ashtray! 😅"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

5 months ago
acronym, ASAP, humor, irony, management, mean, procrastination, slow, time, time management
Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

2 weeks ago
ambition, ask, audacity, big, boldness, cheat, cheat code, code, level, life, major, request, thing, universe
I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

1 month ago
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I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

1 month ago
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The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

1 month ago
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“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

1 month ago
am, awareness, conversation, correct, head, humor, i, mind, self, thoughts, unfortunately

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

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Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

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I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

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After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

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Live now on WeChat:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Just shared via WeChat:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

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They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

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They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

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