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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Spotted on Facebook:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Spotted on Telegram:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Making waves on Twitch:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Just shared via Snapchat:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

2 months ago

0

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Imagine the chaos at the Oscars with a new category for Best Super Sex Scene! 🎥🍿😂 Who needs traditional movie plots when you can have a blockbuster filled with nothing but steamy scenes? Talk about a must-see for date night at the cinema! 🔥💏🎬

big, comedy, end, entertainment, film, humor, movie, put, scene, sex, sex scene, show, suggestion, super, supercut, theater, year, year-end

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, paradox, repetition, time, times, worst, worst time
I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

0

2 months ago

6, 6 a.m., a.m., am, early, early riser, energy, exercise, fitness, humor, i, lifestyle, morning, morning run, motivation, people, riser, run, runner, want, whatever
“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

0

1 month ago

1st, 24th, before, calendar, Christmas, date, December, December 24th, festive, festive season, holiday, humor, January, January 1st, just, means, new, new year, nightmare, season, The Nightmare Before Christmas, year
I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

0

2 months ago

burial, business, correct, cremation, customer, customer service, customers, fired, funeral, funeral home, home, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, misunderstanding, service, smoking, term, wanted, workplace
The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

0

2 months ago

back, borrowing, city, debt, finance, having, humor, money, move, new, new city, pay, payback, relocation, worst
Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

0

3 months ago

acting, ask, asking, behavior, circus, clown, going, humor, keep, keeps, self-reflection, stop, why, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Reddit this month:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

25 shares on X this month:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

23 shares on Twitch this month:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,657

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Trending via Reddit:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Live now on YouTube:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Just shared via Discord:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Trending via Pinterest:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Seen just now on Discord:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Just shared via WeChat:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

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