Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

31 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Spotted on Discord:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Spotted on TikTok:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Going viral on Telegram:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Making waves on TikTok:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Trending via Discord:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Time needs a speed limit.

6 months ago

Time needs a speed limit.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Time definitely needs to slow down, it's racing by faster than a cheetah on espresso! 🕰️🚗⏳ Maybe we should put some speed bumps on the road of time to give us a chance to catch our breath and enjoy the journey! 🤣 #TimeManagementIssues"

humor, irony, life, limit, needs, philosophy, speed, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

31 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Trending via Discord:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Seen just now on Discord:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Just landed via TikTok:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Freshly posted on X:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Trending via Threads:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴