Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Going bananas on WeChat:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Live now on Pinterest:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Spotted on X:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Seen just now on Messenger:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Going viral on Slack:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like that psycho got a slice of something unexpected! 🚿🔪😂 Hopefully, they'll think twice before barging in again! 🤣"

awkward, awkward situation, encounter, humor, knife, me, psycho, shower, situation, sorry, unexpected, unexpected encounter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

0

6 months ago

communication, friendship, humor, important, learn, learning, likes, media, popularity, post, self-awareness, social, social media, stuff, stupid, stupidity
Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

0

2 months ago

bouquet, caught, death, event, funeral, humor, irony, unexpected, wedding
The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, finance, humor, joke, loan, shark, specy
If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal joke, cheese, greeting, humor, i, ID, joke, meet, mouse, pun, say, things, wordplay
If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

0

2 months ago

compass, confusion, direction, humor, i, irony, lost, still
I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

0

2 months ago

fear, flip, flip flop, flop, flops, footwear, humor, i, ID, imagination, scared, spider, think, tiny

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

61 shares on Instagram this month:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

61 shares on X this month:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

22 shares on Slack this month:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Just landed via Twitch:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Live now on Pinterest:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Making waves on Telegram:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Spotted on Slack:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Just landed via Twitch:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Going viral on Messenger:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨