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Commentary:
"Congratulations on achieving this incredible milestone! 🏆 Who knew that living every day would be your special talent? 😆 Keep breaking those records, one day at a time! 🎉 #LivingMyBestLife"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

2 months ago

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Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

2 months ago

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It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

5 months ago

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Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

6 months ago

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In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

1 month ago

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I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

75 shares on X this month:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Just shared via Facebook:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Making waves on WeChat:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Just landed via Reddit:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Seen just now on Slack:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨