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Commentary:
Well, imagine if mosquitos had a refined taste for human fat! 🍔🦟 They could single-handedly revolutionize the weight loss industry, one bite at a time! 💪😆

annoyance, bad, blood, fat, health, human, humor, irony, mosquito, nature, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

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2 months ago

anything, apparently, communication, culture, guys, hear, humor, internet, internet culture, media, online, say, social, social media
Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

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2 months ago

code, debug, development, enlightenment, humor, programming, software, software development, sometimes, staring
Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

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2 months ago

crown, humor, inside, motivation, pineapple, positivity, self-confidence, stand, stand tall, sweet, tall, wear, wear crown
Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

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2 months ago

believe, diamond, Earth, hardest, hardest substance, head, humor, husband, people, reality, relationship, stubborn, substance
I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

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2 months ago

checkout, checkout line, cool, everyone, front, frustration, hate, humor, i, line, me, shopping
My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

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2 months ago

aging, body, body noise, breakfast, cereal, crackle, humor, joke, louder, noise, playful, pop, snaps

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Threads this month:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

92 shares on Discord this month:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

89 shares on X this month:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Making waves on YouTube:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Just shared via Facebook:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Spotted on Reddit:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Spotted on Twitch:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨